getting my second wind

Have you ever woken up + thought that you just weren’t ready to wake up and face the day?  Well, that’s how I felt on Sunday.

For whatever reason, it’s been hard to get in the holiday spirit this year.  I didn’t do my normal Black Friday sales. And not for some (mind-blowing) reason, I just wasn’t interested in buying anything that was on sale.  As a matter of fact, S. + I have only been on one shopping excursion and my mom + I went on one other.  I can’t believe that I’ve only been on 2 shopping trips.  Goodness.  I shop more than that normally.

I think it’s the overwhelming pressure of the economy. Every time I listen to NPR or the news, it seems to center on the economy + how this is just the tip of the iceberg as to where we will be in a year or so.  I’ve felt the need – admittedly, somewhat needlessly – to batten down the hatches.  And this holiday, we’ve done that.  Both S + I have encouraged the kiddos to forgo presents + that we just want to spend some time with them. And with my family, we decided to draw names + just purchase a gift for the kids + one adult.  So, personally, we’ve battened down – but it’s been difficult.  Have you ever noticed that once you take someone off of your list, you suddenly find a ton of gifts that would be perfect for them?  Yeah, me too.

For the past two months, I have been working on getting some of the families I work with adopted for the holidays.  Last Tuesday, I found out that one group needed to back out of adopting the family. Understandable?  Absolutely.  Heartbreaking?  More than a little.

You see, this family got to me.  The family is a single father + a 10-year old son.  The mother (from what we know) either died early in the boys life or just hasn’t been in his life since then.  So the father + the son have just had the other. Recently, the father was diagnosed with lung cancer. He lost his minimum-wage paying job + now is without work, as well as without insurance. His son is just old enough to understand what this means + is having an understandably difficult time. Without going into too much detail, things aren’t looking good for the father + the person who nominated him for the holidays feels that this just may be his last Christmas with his son.  I really wanted him to be adopted. I wanted them to be able to share some really positive memories about this Christmas both for the son’s sake and for his father’s.  so, when the news came, I was hearbroken and started to work on finding a new last-minute adopter.

Things weren’t looking that great.  I called a group we were working with for 16 other families to see if I could squeeze them in.  But they just didn’t have the funds to include them in our group.

So, back to my Sunday morning blahs. When I got up I was still wrestling with how to get this family adopted and it was making getting excited about attending the Sunday service for the other 16 families a little bit difficult.  During my hour drive to the service, I kept thinking about this family rather than the 16 others who would be adopted. (It’s always about those that you can’t help.)  The Christmas service was beautiful – lots of singing and a good sermon.  BreakPointe Charities and Church – I have to say is amazing.  All in all, they provided $60,000 to the families that they had adopted – my families from Phoenix, families from 3 other large nonprofit groups + several individuals.  But even with all of that I sat there + felt sorry for myself + wished that I was still in bed.

Then the pastor told a story about another family.  The church had really hoped to be able to adopt this family. The story like so many others is incredibly sad.  The family was needing help because their three-year old daughter is on the heart transplant list and has been living at the local children’s hospital for the past several months while she waits for a transplant.  The mother quit her job to stay with her at the hospital and making ends meet with just one job plus all of the hospital bills was difficult to say in the least.  Well, the group was finally able to call the family on Thursday to let them know that they would be able to adopt them for the holidays only to learn that the little girl had passed away the previous Thursday.

As I dug in to my purse to donate to a new collection to help pay for the little girl’s funeral services, I thought a lot about this family, “my” family, my real family + Christmas. And, yes, my blessings.  And came home + put up my first holiday decorations of the year.

As for “my” family – well, I’m ecstatic to say that I think I have a new adopter. And that my friends is a very good thing.